Will Hard says I want you…

“I want you.

What do you want.

– Will Hard, Publisher, Attempted Love

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Chimnese Davids says that is what you meant to me…

“That is what you meant to me: a light that shone through the darkness.”

– Chimnese Davids, Your Smile, Muses of Wandering Passions

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Derrick Jensen says we have a need for enchantment that is…

“We have a need for enchantment that is as deep and devoted as our need for food and water.”

– Derrick Jensen, The Culture of Make Believe

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Will Hard says take a chance…

“Take a chance.

Say it out loud.

– Will Hard, Publisher, Attempted Love

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Alexandra Katehakis and Tom Bliss say when we dote on friends and lovers who don’t love us back…

“Your ability will not help if you do not give your availability.”

- Saji Ijiyemi

AVAILABILITY

When we dote on friends and lovers who don’t love us back, although it’s counter-intuitive, we are the ones who are emotionally unavailable.  It’s easy to blame the love-avoidant, whose selfishness is obvious: they don’t return messages; don’t show up when they say: don’t communicate any change of plans; and even in person they’re evasive and non-committal.  But love addicts or codependents appear as the very picture of availability, weighing every possible impact of their actions on the love object.

But that’s precisely the problem–human relatedness has become objectified.  They aren’t interacting with a real person; they’re pinning their hopes on a fantasy.  In a tragic paradox, the more they seek to make everything right, the less right it becomes. Forced emotional intimacy, which includes compulsive disclosure, is the hallmark of love addiction and codependency.  To be truly available means to tolerate another’s unique reality without trying to force closeness, and even to accept rejection while still affirming loving-kindness.

People-pleasing prevents availability because to be genuinely available to others we must first be available to ourselves by practicing authenticity and self-care.  When our mind clamors for our attention with endless mental chatter, it’s often a sign that we’re not available within.  If you are held hostage by your mental and emotional states, you will probably find yourself held hostage by others’ drama, and you may be holding others hostage as well.  Outer states reflect inner states.  When you can find peace in the moment as it unfolds, you become available to your greater self.

Become available to your own thoughts and emotions, and ask what they want from you. Gently avail yourself within, and you will gradually lose patience for unavailable people and attract those who are truly present.

- Alexandra Katehakis and Tom Bliss, The Center for Healthy Sex, Daily Meditations, March 25, 2015

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Michael Xavier says the question isn’t will love find you…

“The question isn’t will love find you;
It is when it finds you will you be ready.”

– Michael Xavier

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Jonathan Carroll says my memory loves you…

“My memory loves you… it asks about you all the time.”

– Jonathan Carroll

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