“You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.” – Frederick Buechner
Relationship:
“People often place emphasis on their primary love relationship, as if life only springs into existence reflected in the infatuated eyes of another. But we are always in relationship with every person of this world. It’s just that certain relationships are hidden from us. The belief that we “choose to enter into a relationship” belies the fact that no human anywhere, anytime has the power to create relationship.
Think of it: we didn’t bring any of the people we know into our lives. This power is beyond us. And it’s also beyond our power to end a relationship, which is different than quitting an intimate pact. To commonly refer to this process in shorthand as “ending a relationship” causes much egotistical confusion.
The fact that we can leave unhealthy people is liberating, but we can’t ever truly leave relationships. All the lovers we’ve left behind, they live on in us. We summon their memory, sometimes we even speak to them in our heart. Any walls we perceive are the constraints of past hurt, they cannot blot out inter-relatedness. The truth is our spirits flow into one another.
Often certain relationships are damaged due to past trauma. The entire internal concept of a relationship might be impaired, so that the idea of “mother” or “friend” causes one to recoil for fear of pain. But we possess the potential for every healthy relationship possible, regardless of the people in our lives.
As an example, think of your relationship to money. You might feel joy or panic, power or pain, but these are just your own feelings toward this relationship. The relationship itself is a simple fact presented to your awareness from a power greater than you. You do have a relationship with money. You can choose to bring loving attention to this relationship, or not–it’s up to you.
The same goes for your most damaged personal relationship. You can repair your relationship with any person with or without their involvement. See yourself connected to others as if by invisible strings. We select certain notes and make music, but all the notes unsung still relate to our song.
– Alexandra Kathakis & Tom Bliss – The Center for Healthy Sex – Daily Meditation: 09/05/2013
