Attempted Love

I have a light side.  I have a dark side.  I have to live with my light side.  I have to live with my dark side.

You have a light side.  You have a dark side.  You have to live with your light side.  You have to live with your dark side.

Everyone has a light side.  Everyone has a dark side.  Everyone has to live with their light side.  Everyone has to live with their dark side.

It’s not hard to live with my light side.

The dark side is more difficult.  The best way to live with my dark side is bring it into the light.  I admire people who set that example.  There are comedians who are almost unbelievably vulnerable onstage, and in recorded performances.  I believe that vulnerability is key to their ability to connect with complete strangers–those of us in the audience.  Bless them for their example.  I am not yet strong enough to follow their example.

I have a more incremental strategy.  I want to gradually be more vulnerable about the dark areas of my life.  I want to gradually be vulnerable with a wider range of people.

I want to start with personal relationships–friends, family, and my more intimate connections.  This will work best if it is mutual.  If you are also able to be more vulnerable.

Sometimes this is not possible.  Sometimes my dark side is too painful for me to disclose.  Sometimes it’s the same for you.  My/your shame, my/your guilt, my/your wounds, my/your pain, my/your dark side is too deep, too ingrained, too risky, to share or even acknowledge.  My attempts at vulnerability may trigger the wounds from your dark side.  I may receive silence, or shunning, or shouting, or anger for my attempts.

The solution is the same whatever the reaction.  Honor the holiness of my attempts, however meager.  Honor the holiness of you, whatever your reaction. Honor the reality that it is the same for all of us.  Give love and compassion with no expectations.  

Make the attempt.  Attempted Love.

Will Hard, Publisher, Attempted Love